2 Types of Aliens

 

Artist's Representation

 

 

There are only two types of aliens.

First, you have the aliens that are chill.  They’ve been scoping us out and when they reveal themselves they intend to come down in their quaint little star explorers, shake our hands and hook us up with the ill technology.  They’ll give us alternative energy, save our social security, a healthcare system including things like bionic limbs, a cure for cancer and aids, along with a whole mess of other stuff (teleportation please?).  They’ll be the best thing that ever happens to this little blue orb.

The second kind of alien isn’t so pretty.  They have been scoping us too, but not to befriend us.  They want to steal our natural resources (maybe we should just use them all up).  They probably won’t even leave their ships until most of us are dead.  Their lasers will light up the night sky for forty days and forty nights and once they’re through, the few of us that are still alive while be used for experiments, reproduction (not the fun kind) and a host of evil things we can’t even imagine.  They’ll be the worst thing that could ever happen to our home world.  

I think you can guess which ones I’m rooting for.